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The Real (and urgent) Reason You Must Love Yourself

(Warning: I’m passionate, and I’m telling it like it is.)

It’s a hot message right now. We’re seeing more commercials and public service announcements dedicated to it than ever before. And the target audience is huge: all women ages 8-88.

The message?

Love Yourself.

Love the skin you’re in. True beauty comes in all shapes and sizes. Unique is the new gorgeous.

And we can’t get enough of it. We’ll stop whatever we’re doing to watch the commercial. We’ll forward the video clip to all our social networking friends, and they’ll forward it, too. We give it a huge Amen! Don’t we?

Because when we hear it, something deep within us responds. We can physically feel it. If our hearts had arms, they would reach out and snag those words…and tuck ‘em away for safe keeping.

We ache to hear the words. In fact, some of us are literally dying to hear them. Because most of the time we hear the exact opposite—battling the brutal voices of society and our own inner critics. And we are battle worn.

We truly are battle worn. Which brings me to the real point I hope you’ll stick around to read.

I’m going to get right to it, but before I do I want to say this: I believe every word of The Book. I’m all in. I’m a blood-bought daughter of the King…and I know it. I’ve chosen my side, and I’m holding the line.  No going back. No plan B.

And you are my sister.

It’s with that heart…from that place…that I appeal to you. I want you to know who you really are and how very much you are worth—and to believe it once and for all!

Here’s the deal: the reason we need to love ourselves NOW—to truly believe we are fearfully and wonderfully made—is far (I mean far) more important than having a healthy self-image.

Do this for me: imagine a battle field where two opposing armies are in line formation facing up. In my mind I’m seeing it like the scenes from Braveheart. On one side is what appears to be a huge enemy force…cocky…well-armed…spiffy. On the other side, a rag-tag assembly of passion-filled pseudo-warriors ready to fight to the death. Imagine you’re in that group. You and me and all our sisters. We are women warriors—specifically, the women of God. We’re dressed and ready to give it all we’ve got.

Now the two sides take steps toward each other. Then more steps. Until finally they are within ear shot of one another. Can you picture it?

The enemy commander raises his shining sword as his pompous troops wait for its drop—a signal for battle to begin.  You and the team of rag-tag warriors are ready, holding up make-shift shields and swords hewn from logs. Your kingdom is at stake. You can barely breath from the anticipation.

Then the shiny sword drops. The enemy advances and implements its first strategic strike. In one voice comes the devastating declaration:

You’re fat and ugly.

As the words reach the ears of God’s girls, one-by-one they fall. Oh, some try to hold up their shields, but the words flow around them like hot smoke. In a matter of moments, only a few are left standing. Left alone to battle the enemy while aching for their fallen sisters. Are you one of the standing?

I am, and my heart breaks for the fallen.

I realize this seems dramatic. But I’m telling you, it’s not. I see this happening ALL THE TIME. Our enemy truly has it easy.  And we have simply got to wake up and see it.

Women of God are falling for the same stupid crap the devil has been pulling for ages. You’re naked, and you should be ashamed.

All he has to do is draw attention to the fault in our flesh, and we’re out. 

The pants are too tight. Can’t go to church today.

I ate too many Oreos. I have no self-control. I’m a failure.

I’ve got so many zits. I’m just not up for Bible study tonight.

God doesn’t want a size 18 temple.

I’m not pretty. Only pretty people can have a ministry.

Please don’t get me wrong. I’m not making light of the pain we feel. I’ve believed nearly every one of those statements at some point in my life.  And because of it, I missed countless opportunities to worship, to love people, to kick some demonic butt. All because I thought my own butt was too big.

Not anymore.

I see it now. I’ve been given a glimpse behind the scenes, and what’s there makes me so mad I just want to scream.

I see the devil and all his gaggle of pompous pipsqueak demons laughing their heads off at how easy it has become to take God’s women down. Getting such a kick out of how easy it has become to distract us from our TRUE calling, deceiving us into believing the flesh is what matters most.

News flash: OUR FLESH IS THE ONLY PART OF US THAT IS GOING TO TURN TO DUST!

Our butts can’t leave a legacy. Our weight doesn’t matter when we’re in the grave. No one will mention your body mass index at your memorial.

But they will remember your Kingdom deposits.

The Kingdom of God is at hand. The Army of the Lord is supposed to be the strongest.

We just can’t be wimpy anymore.

I know the enemy is everywhere. We can’t turn on the t.v. or check out at the grocery store without being told we’re not enough—that we should take off a few more pounds or get a little nip and tuck. 

The enemy won’t stop. He’s tireless. But he has no new material.

Women of God, we’ve just got to realize that THIS WORLD IS NOT OUR HOME.

Its definitions are not our definitions.

Its god is NOT our god.

We’ve just got to choose our side and stand on it. No matter what. Every day. Every minute.

Our world isn’t getting any lighter. Darkness is all around. YOU ARE THE LIGHT OF THE WORLD.

God didn’t put a weight limit on that. He didn’t put size requirements on that.

            Matthew 11:12 – …the Kingdom of God suffers violence, and the violent take it by force.

Enough is enough. Let’s stand together. There is a hurting and dying world out there that needs the love of God’s girls. It needs the strength of God’s girls. It needs the truth we bear.

Fight with me. Stand with me. Stand with our Lord who died for us to be free…truly free. Free from the lies of this world that try to keep us ensnared in foolishness.

Imagine this:

The enemy troops shout at the top of their lungs, You’re fat and ugly.

And the women of God laugh.

Alone. Okay.

The boys are gone tonight, and I’m sitting alone on the back deck. Birds are chirping. Sun going down. And I’m thinking deep thoughts that would drive many people crazy. I’m just deep.  No matter how hard I’ve tried to change that, I can’t. Trying to figure out how to avoid being deep only causes me to go deeper. And that’s really okay. God loves me this way.

I’ve been here on this deck alone before.

I remember sitting on this deck alone crying my eyes out because I hated this house. We left our dream home – a home we built from the bottom up as a family to live here.  Because of financial reasons.  I cried out to God begging Him to get me out of here, believing that a better house would really make me feel tons better.  But that didn’t happen.

And tonight I’m thankful for this house. It’s perfect…because it’s where my children lay their heads at night and where my husband comes home to me.  This house is perfect.

I remember sitting on this deck alone crying because the people I so desperately hoped would want to really know me simply didn’t. Why don’t they want to know me, Lord? The pain of wanting to be known by people who don’t want to know you can be pretty sharp.

But tonight I’m thankful for the people who DO want to know me. They are amazing folks…real folks…emotionally sloppy people who aren’t afraid to show their hearts (and sometimes their butts, if you know what I mean). And that’s the kind of people I am, too. The friends I have are perfect.

I remember sitting on this deck alone aching to be needed in some big way. “Lord, please open a door for me that proves to me I have a real purpose.” I cried and cried thinking of all the closed doors… allowing the enemy of my soul to whisper lies into my heart such as, No one wants you, Teasi. No one wants you.

But tonight I know the lies aren’t true. Because the Lover of my Soul wants me always, and for some reason tonight I’m able to see that there truly aren’t any “no’s” in God’s kingdom…only “yes’s” to something else.  And it’s okay if I don’t know the something else yet.  Tonight it’s okay.

So…for this moment on this deck…I’m okay. And I’ll take this moment.  And I will do all I can to frame it in my heart and hang it on the wall there, because I believe this is the REAL moment.  The moment when all is okay.  When my God is present, and His plans are sure.  The moment when my heart is seen – with all its pain and all its incredibly deep and complex thoughts. And it is loved.

On this deck. Alone. Right now. All. Is. Well.