Blessed the Biggest at my Biggest

For years (lots of them), what I wanted most for myself was to be thin, and I know I’m not alone.  I fantasized about it, prayed about it, cried about it, and spent lots of money on it.  It’s fair to call it an obsession – one which nearly destroyed my life. I’ve been miraculously set free from the lie that being thin equals being beautiful – that being thin means having true value.  Today as I was thanking God once again for this freedom of mine, I had a divine realization – one of those you just know comes straight from the heart of God.  It dawned on me that nearly all of the biggest blessings in my life came at times when I was…well, my biggest.

When I met my husband Bill for the first time I was chunky.  When I had each of my three children I crossed the 200 pound threshold with ease, and this year – with the scale revealing numbers that once would have left me a depressed mess – one of my longest held dreams is coming true: I’m having a book published that will actually be in book stores!

It’s epically ironic (never used this expression before, but it fits) that at a time in my life when I’m nearly my heaviest, I’m the happiest.  I love how this fact flies in the face of society’s lies about beauty and worth.

And I love that God is such a rebel – that He chose to bless me as a pudgy gal rather than making me thin like I’d begged Him to for years.

Isa 55:8  "For My thoughts are not your thoughts, Nor are your ways My ways," says the LORD.

Yay! for God's ways, huh?  I’ll take them over mine any day.

Fail Proof Beauty Enhancer: Pick the Right Beholder

Can you recall the topic of your latest inner conversation?  You know what I mean, don’t you?  The last thing you thought about yourself and said to yourself? Even though I may not know you personally, I’ll bet what occupied your mental air space was negative self-talk.  And most likely it had something to do with your looks – with how beautiful you think you aren’t.  And if so, you’re not alone.  A recent Glamour magazine poll revealed that 97% of the women surveyed thought negative thoughts about themselves on a daily basis…some up to 100 times a day.

This self-sabotaging is insanely tragic, don’t you think?  And I’m pretty sure I know a way to stop the insanity.  Think about this: If the old saying is true - that “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,” then let’s make darn sure we’re picking the right beholder!

I’d venture to say that for most of us the beholder we’re looking to is our society – a big group of people comprised of total strangers who have no idea who we are or what we have to offer.  Movies, television, magazines…our beholder.  Unreal and unrealistic.

Let’s make a switch – a switch to the only truly trustworthy, completely kind, and only perfect Beholder…our Creator.  After all, He’s the one who knows everything about us (including the number of hairs – gray or otherwise – on our heads) yet still thinks nothing but good about us.

Take a look at this:

Psalm 139:14-18a - I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvelous are Your works, and that my soul knows very well.  My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are Your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would be more in number than the sand.

Vogue magazine might think we are too fat or that we are too short or that we have such unsightly crow’s feet.  But our God…well, He thinks we are wonderful…marvelous…precious.  And I choose to believe Him.  How about you?